138 - POO MOON

Sometimes it’s tough to know what to do.  For example, what would you do if you were trying to slice a pizza with a filet knife and see your dog defecating on itself?  We think stabbing your spouse should be pretty far down on the list of options, but that’s exactly what one lady does in our Top-of-the-Show News Round segment.  There’s also some lovely, not self-absorbed people  showing off their wealth on Instagram.  Meanwhile, some officials in China are discussing building a new Chinese China-moon.  Yes, a moon.

We’ll meet a hip-hop fan named Shaq who is trying to broaden his musical horizons by listening to Metallica.  That’s tough!   Also, Booze invites us to “Take a Break” with the Bald and the Beautiful, Beardo checks in and shares a recent family tragedy, and Belasco tries (again) to get everyone else to share in his personal obsession with the least sexy adult film ever created – now on Blu-Ray!

Later, Prof. Chuck Turtleman’s Guide to the Marvel Universes reviews “Iron Man 2”.  Let’s just say that it’s probably better that Stan Lee is no longer able to hear it.

Stick this one in your noggin because it’s a good one.

137 - THE BEAUTIFUL BRIGHT BLUE BELL-BOTTOMS OF BILL BIXBY

We’ve got a jam-packed episode.  Not only is there another appearance by our good friend Bane (off of Batman), but we meet a new friend of the show known as Dr. Brain.  He’s the biggest YouTube sensation since Stefano and will enlighten us with a wealth of knowledge that could only come from a deep, rich understanding of how to look up things on Wikipedia.

Booze shares with us how the UK looks out for blind citizens in public toilets and Prof. Chuck Turtleman spends time with the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s “The Incredible Hulk”.  Astute listeners know that the Incredible Hulk has a connection to Bill Bixby. Well, we wouldn’t be the number one Bill Bixby podcast on the Internet if we failed to tell you he was also in a movie called “Clambake” with a guy named Elvis (DuckDuckGo him for more info).  Belasco will tell us all about that and share some music history.

The News Round, as you’ve come to expect, is full of sex and drugs.  We’ll go dumpster diving for some choice cuts of blubber and get embraced by the tentacles of ecstacy.  Also, you might remember a little song we produced called “Robot Hand”. The good news is, we’ve updated it.  The great news is, it’s migrated to another part of the body.

So, cram this one up one of those places where you can hear it real nice.

136 - PROFESSOR CHUCK TURTLEMAN'S GUIDE TO THE MARVEL UNIVERSE

Featuring: Booze, Chuck Turtleman, Belasco

Hello Listeners with Good Taste,

We finally finished this episode after a particularly nasty attempt at sabotage. We’re not pointing any fingers (Turtleman), but someone didn’t record they’re side of the conversation.  Maybe it was alternate-universe Dr. P.  Either way, despite some sound issues, the episode is here!

This episode, we welcome back our old friend Bane (off of Batman)!  We catch up with what’s going on his life and get some top-quality life advice.  Later Belasco subjects noted “toy-movie” hater, Professor Chuck Turtleman, to the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  Turtleman begins his journey with Iron Man (2008) and he better damn-well like it.  We’ll give Neil deGrasse Tyson

Belasco gets a bug up his butt (#belascopath) and admonishes you listeners about taking a joke too far.  A school system decides that maybe spanking students (#belascopath) isn’t the most effective form of discipline.  An unrelated student decides that the “Jedi Way” means he won’t fight back against bullies (#belascopath).  And, a Chinese Chinacouple have to be taught the correct way to increase the size of their family (#guess).

All this and more, so stick it in your ears, honkies!

96 - LIFE IMPROVING LIFE HACKS

Featuring:  Booze, Belasco, Chuck Turtleman

Producer: Chuck Turtleman, Booze, Belasco

We have good news and bad news. First the bad news: a beloved part of our long-running podcast is retiring as of this show. The decision is final and only an enormous groundswell of positive iTunes reviews and word-of-mouth promotion will change it. The good news: Little Caesar is back and she’s still whining on Facebook. We have all the juicy details.

Also, we’ll hear about a pain-reliever commercial that’s giving Booze a headache. Belasco bemoans the unfairness of every other country in the world getting “Avengers: Age of Ultron” before the United States. Turtleman shares a few life-hacks that may just get you off the couch and living fully once again, but probably not.

Our Idiots of Facebook segment asks the probing questions: Could be that Crystal Keith has finally found love? Does Friendzone Frank finally end the pity-party and take charge of his life? You’ll have to listen. Later, in the News Round, a big-game hunter gets the big brother treatment and Zebras are on the loose again in (where else?) Belgium.

So put your phone on speaker and stick this one in your head, honkies.

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